Schizophrenia During the Republican Debate

At some point during last night's Republican debate I began to experience a type of Stockholm Syndrome. I found myself thinking crazy thoughts, cursing the liberal media, cheering Rick Santorum, fearing illegal immigration, and as though my values were under fire from coastal elites. As a coastal elite myself, I guess the Republican debate inspired a form of masochism.

It's a strange experience to watch these debates. They seem to exist in an alternate universe, and in fact a large topic last night was Newt's proposal for a U.S. colony on the moon. Newt's long been a champion of bizarre futuristic ideas, in Al Franken's 1996 book "Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot," Franken speculated whether Newt's dirty secret is that he "used to smoke weed and watch the Jetsons." This in response to Newt's speculation that soon one would be able to get a diagnostic chair installed in one's house that would interface with a local health clinic. The clinic would then be able to conduct all sorts of tests from the remote location. As Rick Santorum said several debates ago, Mr. Gingrich is certainly prone to spouting off "grandiose ideas." That a Republican candidate could spout off such inanities during a campaign that's largely focused on the spiraling debt, simply goes to show the emptiness of political rhetoric. Though in a Stockholm flashback, I hear myself chastising for my lack of faith in American ingenuity. Don't I believe in American exceptionalism? Isn't my inability to creatively think about the future and my lack of scientific knowhow indicative of the declining American educational standards? A fact that can be directly linked to the tyranny of Teacher's unions. The Republican debates have driven me to schizophrenia, the voices in my head spouting off GOP talking points.

Gingrich has seen his momentum halted in the past couple days. On Wednesday a whole host of Republicans, from former presidential candidate Bob Dole to Reagan era Assistant Secretary of State Eliot Abrams, unloaded on Newt for crimes such as criticizing Reagan and a lack of perfect conservative credentials. The Drudge Report linked to several videos of Newt attacking Reagan during the 80s, and it seemed that every right-leaning editorial column criticized him for one personality defect or another. Newt followed up the criticism by a weak performance in last night's debate. He went back to his well of criticizing the media instead of answering questions, and Wolf Blitzer skewered him and left him hanging, open to an attack from Romney. Newt's seen a 7 point lead in Florida turn into a 7 point deficit in a matter of days as the Republicans have seemingly realized that the only thing more potentially disastrous than a Romney candidacy is a Newt candidacy.

Romney and Gingrich are such disdainful characters that they make Rick Santorum and Ron Paul into genuinely likable guys. Both scored points during last night's debate. In juxtaposition with Mitt and Newt they are humanized by their ability to not be petulant, disdainful, and insincere, at all times. Frankly, I realize there's no real reason to watch any of these debates. There's not a dimes worth of difference between the candidates, excepting Ron Paul. Even Dr. Paul, who comes off as a dangerous radical during these debates, has basically the same beliefs as the other three, with three differences. In the Democratic party variance in beliefs like Mr. Paul's would make him a conservative Democrat, but in the Republican party it makes him persona non grata. These debates are merely interesting in a voyeuristic way. I followed up last night's debate with the Jersey Shore, and the affect of both is similar. In both I'm watching people who lead lives diametrically opposed from mine. I watch to laugh at the earnestness with which both groups say outlandish things, with an endearing self confidence. Their sincerity adds to the hilarity, putting the reality in reality TV. One is left wondering whether their are truly people who can identify with the crazy things that come out of their mouths. With a one month break between debates, I'm left with a dangerous void. Hopefully the race takes more twists and turns after the Florida primary, because I'll be heartbroken when this show ends.