As a function of the fact that the professional sports teams
I root for are generally bad, and my family isn’t big on attending games, I’ve
only been to one playoff game in my life. Strangely, my one experience in
witnessing the postseason live was a 2007 Ranger’s game that I watched from a
skybox. I’m a little foggy on the circumstances, but somehow me and aspiring
Noise star Mark Iosifescu, of the band Angels in America, found ourselves in a
luxury box with a bunch of Wall Street types who apparently had some connection
to his father. Now this was before the market crash of 2008, so there was no
impetus for us to occupy the skybox. We ate free food, met a Ranger legend or
two, listened to these guys talk about the ingenuity of Credit Default Swaps,
and watched the Rangers lose the game and get eliminated from the playoffs.
I mention this as a prelude to my piece today to offer up my
slight Ranger bonafides. I’m not the world’s biggest Ranger fan, but I’ve held
a passing interest for them for some time. Part of my inability to take my
Ranger fandom to the next level is my lack of familiarity with hockey. I’ve
never played the sport, I can’t even ice skate. I could pick up a basketball
and approximate some kind of semblance of resemblance to the game I see on TV,
but with hockey that’s an impossibility.
Similarly, I have basically no concept of the rules of
hockey. I’m getting a better understanding over the course of this playoffs,
but I still don’t understand a lot. One thing I really do enjoy, is how the
refs are constantly making the safe signal. They do this in response to
potential offsides, potential penalties, or seemingly anything else. The next
time you watch a hockey game, check out the refs and you’ll see the regularity
with which all of them are calling things “safe.” My lack of hockey knowledge
makes watching it kind of exciting, whereas I know intimately what leads to a
“basket interference” or a “catcher’s interference,” I have no understanding of
what a hockey interference is.
In case you’re wondering what’s inspiring all of this hockey
talk, the New York Rangers are currently in the Conference finals. They hold a
1-0 lead over the rival Devils, following last night’s 3-0 win. Earlier this
year, during the NBA lockout, I began to fancy myself something of a Ranger’s
fan. I wouldn’t watch full games, or periods, but it gave me something to watch
during commercials. The Rangers had a knack for scoring while I was watching,
and I began to see hockey as something that wasn’t inherently boring.
Fast forward to the playoffs. Playoff hockey has always had
a reputation for being exciting, and now I see why. First and foremost,
everyone is going batshit nuts. The fans wave towels over there head, bang on
the glass, and generally act as though they are living and dying with each
play. The announcers scream out their play-by-play, and the whole thing
generally feels like a gladiator match. Hockey is like the fog of war, the play
is almost entirely serendipitous and the whole thing feels like a violent free
for all. That’s been another thing I’ve really come to appreciate, the sheer
violence of hockey. As far as I can tell, you can pretty much jack up anyone at
any time.
This isn’t to say I’m fully on the hockey bandwagon, I’m
still not watching full games, but I’m slightly invested. I’ve never seen a
team I like win a championship, so I’m not going to neglect a team 7 wins away
from one, just because the sport feels vaguely Communist and I don’t really
know anything about it.
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